In my last Substack post, I told you about a meeting I had with my supervisor back in 2012. He told me I needed to be more direct—less Midwestern. As an intern in Washington, D.C., he said I should stop working so hard and start networking if I wanted success.
I was hurt. I pushed back. I didn’t want to play the schmoozing, what-can-you-do-for-me game. So instead of staying in D.C., I packed up and went to work on a farm in rural Spain, where my very first chore was digging a hole for a cannabis plant. True story.
Now, thirteen years later, networking is part of my everyday life. In fact, I rely on it heavily. But here’s the thing—I didn’t reject my supervisor’s advice completely. I just had to find my own way of doing it. I have no interest in being pretentious. And I certainly don't wish to put my needs before the needs of others. But I do want to succeed. I've found that the best way to do that is through genuine kindness. That is my form of networking.
Take my upcoming writing conference, something I’ve mentioned here a lot lately. History Through Fiction is hosting a conference early next year. It’s exciting, incredible, and honestly kind of crazy to think that even attempting it. But it didn’t just happen. It’s taken years of connecting with people, building trust, and slowly growing my platform to a place where something like this is even possible.
So how did I get so many amazing people to join me in this venture?
Kindness. Also known as networking.
Sarah Penner, one of the headliners for the conference, was on my podcast back in September 2021—before either of us knew her debut, The Lost Apothecary, would sell over a million copies. Before we knew she’d become a multiple-time New York Times bestselling author. Since then, we’ve stayed in touch, met up at conferences, talked again on the podcast, and I’ve shared reviews of her new books. None of it was planned. Sarah’s a good, kind person. I try to be the same. That’s it.
It’s the same story with Madeline Martin and Addison Armstrong, two other conference guests. I’ve hosted them on my podcast, seen them at events, chatted at book launches. And Finola Austin, our keynote speaker—I first met her when Brontë's Mistress came out. Since then, we’ve crossed paths at conferences and even had tapas together in New York.
Then there are my authors—Jillian, Elizabeth, Julia, Carol, Alina, Chad, Eric, Patricia, Ron, Brynn, Nancy—and our virtual guests Marthese, Georgie, and Edwina. Not to mention my tireless conference committee: Robin, Amanda, and Jillian. These are amazing people doing amazing work. And that’s what networking really looks like—not handshakes and dinner parties, but long-term relationships built on showing up and helping each other out.
To me, networking isn’t about getting something from someone. It’s about meeting people where they are, offering what I can, and staying open to their needs. Sure, it’s harder now with more demands on my time, but when I show up, I do it without expectation.
Even in my job managing a pizza restaurant, this comes naturally. Sometimes a customer asks for something unusual, and I always say yes. Recently, a woman from New Jersey asked for a Lake Harriet Pizza T-shirt for her daughter—named Harriet. I mailed her the shirt with a short note and didn’t take any money for it. She wanted to pay for it, she expected to pay for it, but I said no. I don’t know who she is or what she could do for me, but her gratitude was worth more than any dollar amount. That’s how I try to run everything I do—from pizza to publishing.
When Conan O’Brien lost The Tonight Show after only eight months of living his dream, he signed off with this advice:
“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, amazing things will happen.”
That’s what I’m striving for—to work hard and be kind. And I think it’s working. Six years ago, when I launched History Through Fiction, I couldn’t have imagined leading a team of contributors or having such a huge following of dedicated and supportive readers. None of this would’ve happened without kindness. None of it would’ve happened without networking. I just took the long way—the kind that asks, What can I do for you? instead of What can you do for me?
Networking, and the power of persistence! Well done!
I'm so glad you stuck to doing things your way.